Tag Archives for humor

Spam

Some of the spam comments I get on this blog (and I get many, many spam comments…) are quite funny.  Too bad I can’t quote them – I try to keep this a PG-rated blog.  How in the world do people think up this stuff?

On the Impossibility of Mulltiple Universes and Realities

Since LOST, Fringe and Star Trek (not to mention Obamacare) have everybody talking about multiple universes and realities, I thought this post by Cornelius Hunter was timely (and besides, it’s a good read).

It got me thinking:  If there are universes out there where every potentiality is a reality, then there must be universes where evolution happened the way “science” believes it did.  There are also universes, then, where it didn’t.  There must be universes, then, where there is not only a God, but a God which created the world in 6 days (and others in which He created the world in six “periods” of indeterminate length).

I, however, fail to accept that there are any universes in which Calvinism is true; the premise of multiverse theory is that the realities must have potentiality in the original universe. (It’s a joke … think about it.)

If multiverse theory is correct, this means that:

  • Ours may not be the original universe, but a “splinter” reality only moments old. How would we know?
  • If the God of one universe is, in fact, infinite, omnipotent and omnipresent, then He is outside of all universes.
  • If an omnipotent God exists in one universe, then He must exist in all universes.
  • Atheism, then, is not a potential reality in any universe.
  • There are no universes in which God does not exist.
  • If there is a God in one universe, the potential for universes in which evolution and atheism are true ceases to exist.
  • Multiverse theory would seem to collapse with the potential that God exists.
  • Therefore, it seems that multiverse theory has failed, leaving only this universe in which God exists.

So, in the event that multiverse theory is correct, multiverse theory is impossible.

It would seem, that multiverse theory is either incorrect, or impossible.  What does this mean for LOST, Fringe and Star Trek?

I am “The Architect”

I am “The Architect” – at least according to Carl Jung and Isabel Myers-Briggs.  I ran across an online Jung Typology Test, aka the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator Assessment.  Being the test I took this time didn’t refer to Myers-Briggs, I’m guessing it’s a cheap imitation.  However, my results were consistent with one I took a dozen years ago.

I am, still, an INTP, along with folks like Descartes, Pascal, William James, Einstein, Bob Newhart and Rick Moranis.  We “architects” are, according to the site, only 1% of the overall population, which makes us a scarce resource, and therefore more valuable than the average person.  It also makes us a minority, which means we should be getting special treatment.  The fact that neither of these are true means that either the information is questionable, or that the public needs to be better educated. The fact that I am analyzing this proves that I am indeed an INTP.

Someone by the name of Joe Butt has written a profile of the INTP personality type, in which he writes

INTPs are relatively easy-going and amenable to almost anything until their principles are violated, about which they may become outspoken and inflexible. They prefer to return, however, to a reserved albeit benign ambiance, not wishing to make spectacles of themselves.

A major concern for INTPs is the haunting sense of impending failure. …

Anyone who’s read this blog or my comments on other blogs knows that this is pure crap, but what else could you expect from someone named Joe Butt.  He also writes

INTPs and Logic — One of the tipoffs that a person is an INTP is her obsession with logical correctness. Errors are not often due to poor logic — apparent faux pas in reasoning are usually a result of overlooking details or of incorrect context.

Of course, he’s provided absolutely no support for this conclusion, an obvious but poor attempt at an argument from authority.  And listen to this:

Knowing the Truth is enough for INTPs; the knowledge that this truth can (or could) be demonstrated is sufficient to satisfy the knower. “Cogito, ergo sum” expresses this prime directive quite succinctly.

How arrogant.  I really don’t need him to tell me anything.  Seriously…

Someone who is not named “Butt” has written a nicer overview of the INTP, otherwise known as the architect:

For Architects, the world exists primarily to be analyzed, understood, explained – and re-designed. External reality in itself is unimportant, little more than raw material to be organized into structural models. What is important for Architects is that they grasp fundamental principles and natural laws, and that their designs are elegant, that is, efficient and coherent.

Architects are rare – maybe one percent of the population – and show the greatest precision in thought and speech of all the types. They tend to see distinctions and inconsistencies instantaneously, and can detect contradictions no matter when or where they were made. It is difficult for an Architect to listen to nonsense, even in a casual conversation, without pointing out the speaker’s error. And in any serious discussion or debate Architects are devastating, their skill in framing arguments giving them an enormous advantage. Architects regard all discussions as a search for understanding, and believe their function is to eliminate inconsistencies, which can make communication with them an uncomfortable experience for many.

Ruthless pragmatists about ideas, and insatiably curious, Architects are driven to find the most efficient means to their ends, and they will learn in any manner and degree they can. They will listen to amateurs if their ideas are useful, and will ignore the experts if theirs are not. Authority derived from office, credential, or celebrity does not impress them. Architects are interested only in what make sense, and thus only statements that are consistent and coherent carry any weight with them.

Okay, I seriously think I need to rename this blog, except that people would think I liked to design buildings, or that it was a reference to the character in The Matrix.  I’m not quite that delusional.

Seriously, I do think that the Myers-Briggs test is pretty accurate in many things, and this information can be useful.  It can also be used to justify behavior, which it shouldn’t.  I’ve always thought that it was most important in pointing out where you were most likely to fail… but, that’s probably just that impending sense of failure talking.

INTPs and Logic — One of the tipoffs that a person is an INTP is her obsession with logical correctness. Errors are not often due to poor logic — apparent faux pas in reasoning are usually a result of overlooking details or of incorrect context.

The best spam comment I ever received

I get hundreds of spam comments on this blog every week. Sometimes I look through them… I’ve found one or 2 real ones that got caught for some reason or other.  Most spam comments are meaningless, others are stupid. This one was outrageously funny:

You know so many interesting information. You might be very wise. I like such people. Don’t top writing. – KonstantinMiller

He doesn’t realize how right on he really is.

A little theological humor at the expense of the emerging church

This is a slightly modified version of a joke I heard yesterday in church:

Three pastors – an evangelical, a Roman Catholic priest, and an emergent pastor – died and found themselves at Heaven’s Gate with St. Peter.  Peter explained that they had to correctly answer one question before they could gain admittance. If they answered wrong, they’d unfortunately be excluded.

Peter first turned to the evangelical pastor. “Who do you say that Jesus Christ is?”

The pastor started, “The Bible says, …”

“Sorry,” Peter replied. “I asked what you believed, not what the Bible said.  You cannot come in.”  Turning to the Priest, Peter asked, “Who do you say that Jesus Christ is?”

The Priest thought a moment. “The Pope and Church tradition says…”

“I’m sorry, Father, but you, too, failed to answer the question.”  Peter now turned to the young emerging pastor and asked the same question.

The young man began, “Jesus Christ is the Messiah, God’s Son, and the Savior of the world.”

Peter smiled wide.  As he turned to open the gate, the emerging pastor continued, “But, on the other hand…”

Winds of change

Quixote tipped me off to the new site, Disbeliefnet.com. You probably know all about Beliefnet, one of the oldest faith-oriented sites around. Beliefnet is all about faith of all stripes and tolerance of anything related to faith, providing a place where people with even crazy beliefs can find acceptance and dialog with one another.  It strikes me as a site for spiritual wimps.  Disbeliefnet, on the other hand, is a site dedicated to ridiculing any kind of weird belief that exists, and some that aren’t quite so weird. It’s a perfect complement to Beliefnet, providing a place for non-spiritual wimps to hang out. However, I think it is evidence of a new trend, a sign that a pendulum somewhere is perhaps beginning its back stroke.

Another bit of news that Quixote passed along is also advertised on Disbeliefnet: Bill Maher, the ex-host of Politically Incorrect, has jumped on the documentary bandwagon. His film Religulous, to be released on October 3rd, also ridicules the things that people believe in. Click on the link and you can see a pretty cool trailer.  Maher must have a lot of faith in his followers, as he’s got a film targeted at a very, very small audience, if you believe any of the poll data. Unless, of course, he’s hoping it will attract everyone, because we all – except perhaps for some of the beliefnet wimps – like to laugh at other people’s weird beliefs.

It’s true – I’ve laughed at things that you probably believe for years.  I’ve been known to make fun of Jim Dobson, TV preachers like Robert Tilton (who hasn’t?) and that lady with the pink hair. I’ve laughed at Pat Robertson, I’ve laughed at the Fool on the Hill, and I’ve laughed at people who believe they reincarnate into cows.  I also laugh at people who don’t believe anything, like Buddhists and atheists.  Laughter is what happens when your brain doesn’t know what to do with a particular bit of information that we’re trying to assimilate. And, medical research shows that its good for us to laugh, so we have some scientific basis for it.

But, let me tell you what Disbeliefnet and Religulous signify: they are signs that there is a change in the wind, that we are now entering a post-tolerance age.  That’s right, post-tolerance.  For the last few years, we’ve had liberals stuffing tolerance down our throats, and obviously, we’re tired of it.  People have become so afraid of offending anyone that they can only make fun of themselves. What fun is that?  We’re still allowed to ridicule public figures, of course, which helps a bit. Then there’s the Minority Rule, which says that if you’re a recognized minority, you can make fun of the majority, but they can’t make fun of you. I mean, get real. There’s more of us, so explain to me why we can’t make fun of minorities?

But, apparently it’s now fair game to make fun of anyone.  It was essental, of course, that this trend began with liberals, seeing as how the tolerance movement also came from the left.  The gauche have criticized those on the right all along for being intolerant, so for conservatives to be intolerant is no big deal. But, now that the left has come out in support of intolerance, it’s a different story.

Wow.  What freedom! Freedom of speech returns!  Stay tuned for more post-tolerance posts in the days to come.